“14 Things She’s Doing to Scare Other Women Away ” (While Unintentionally Signaling Her Interest In You)

So I wrote this back when I was single a few years ago… but the story is timeless and priceless…  Enjoy and learn from my past mistakes!

(Get some pop-corn ready… this is a good story).

I’ve got more free time than I had hoped tonight…

You see, I just made a stupid mistake that cost me a girl I was dating.  And the lame thing is, it was a mistake that you may already have made, with disaster on its way…

But it’s not too late to save you from my fate!  Read on…

I had just come back into town, and “Jenny” (the fake name of one of the girls I’m casually dating) offered to give up her Friday night to pick me up from the airport and drive me back to my place.

Now, a free ride and a ‘free ride’ beat a taxi any day, so I gladly accepted her offer.  She picked me up right on time, and everything was looking good.  We happily made out in the car ride home, with me promising to pay for her services with a little ‘rocket ship ride’ when we got back to my place.

We got home, and started making out… We were at that place in a relationship where things were progressing unexpectedly well… As they often say, “distance makes the heart grow fond”, and in her case, it had apparently made the heart grow a bit frisky as well… We peeled off a layer or two, and all systems were properly functioning… it was Green Light,  All systems GO!  Houston, we have lift…

Oh, nothing is ever quite THAT easy…  She excused herself to the bathroom, needing a minute to ‘freshen up’ before we blasted off for our orbit around Pleasure Planet.

I waited in the bedroom, stretching out for the long mission ahead, excitedly anticipating her return.  I heard her on her way and intercepted her at the bedroom door in my boxers (as is the custom on our planet), ready for some deep space probing…

But she returned with a very different look on her face…

It wasn’t the warm sunny glow she left the room with, or that hot and horny look that I was hoping to see…

No, this look clearly had all warmth sucked out of it by some sort of happy-warmth-sucking-device, and in its place was a cold, expressionless void that seemed to drain the very life out of the room…  This was not a good look.

She held out her hand and led me down the hall toward the bathroom.

Suddenly, I was no longer Buck Rogers on a wild space sex fantasy, but rather a child being led to the principle’s office for a spanking, with no idea what I had done wrong (and a hard-on, which made me feel even more stupid).

She led me into the pitch black bathroom, and for a zillionth of a second, I thought maybe this’d turn into a ‘fuck me on the bathroom counter’ fantasy…  and in a sense, I really was about to get fucked…

She picked something off the counter and placed it in my hand…  I knew this couldn’t be good…  and I have just enough intuition to not want to turn on the lights, but she took care of it for me.  And there, in my hand were two earrings.

I looked at her… and SHE was also wearing earrings.  So these, my slow man-brain computed… must… not… be her… earrings.

Doh!

They were the earrings of another girl who I was also casually dating at the time.

Another girl who offered to take care of my cat while I was out of town.  Another girl who had the presence of mind to mark her territory in case some OTHER girl came wandering my way…

My co-pilot for the night left so fast, she practically teleported, leaving behind only a silhouetted cloud of dust and a pang of regret in my stomach for what could have been a hell of a fun night… And perhaps many more.

Now to my defense, at this time in my life, I told the girls I was dating that wasn’t exclusive, and didn’t have expectations that they would be with me. The rest was generally left unspoken…  I didn’t see the point of rubbing in that I was seeing other people, which in my mind would just hurt a girl’s feelings.  But the earrings were too much openly flaunted reality for our little fantasy to continue.

Maybe you’re dating more than one girl right now… Maybe you’re not.  But even if you’re just casually hanging out with more than one girl, this is a situation you need to be prepared for in advance.  You never know when, just like for me, a girl who you’re seeing casually could suddenly become someone you want to take seriously… And if another girl has planted the “seeds” of sabotage without your knowing, you could be screwed (in a metaphorical sense only)…

The reality is that this kind of situation is so easily avoidable.  I know that women mark their territory… I’ve known it for a long time.  And yet I got nailed by such an obvious mistake.

Why?

Because there are SO many ways that women mark their territory, more than you probably ever realized… And if you forget about just one, you are very likely to get busted.

See, it’s a commonly known fact that women are much more DETAIL oriented than men.  They notice a little thing out of place much faster than we do.  So the likelihood that she’ll notice one of these clues is very high (and they all know the clues to look for, because they all leave them).

A woman will leave calling cards behind for other women to find.  What do I mean by a “calling card”?  Well, I can’t think of a time that I’ve had a girl over, and she didn’t leave some little piece of jewelry, belt buckle, sweater, shoe, Viking helmet… something hidden somewhere… 

But there are more than just objects she may leave behind…  She may do a bunch of others stuff, like wear extra perfume when visiting your place, so your room, sheets, pillows, sofa all smell of HER.  I keep Lysol handy… the girls probably just think I’m really clean.

Some things may be as subtle as brushing her hair with your brush, which leaves her hair for another to find within the bristles.  Other things may be as overt as clawing your back, biting and even giving a hickie during one of your wild romps.

What every single guy needs is a checklist for unmarking our territory and removing all the ‘marks’ that a woman may leave.  I’ve given you a great start here… feel free to add to it.  If you have anything really great, send it in and we’ll add it to the list.

Look for any of these things and be sure to do a quick once-over of your place, yourself and your things for any of this stuff before inviting another woman over.

The Guy’s Checklist For Un-Marking Your Territory

Category 1: “Forgotten Me Not’s”

Take a quick visual pass through your place as you walk her out, and hand her anything obvious she ‘forgot’.  This saves you the trouble of remembering it later, and if she goes psycho on you at some point, there never has to be that uncomfortable “I need to come by and get my scrunchie” conversation later.

Things to look for include:

1)       Earrings (DOH!)

2)       Jewelry/Watches

3)       Belts

4)       Underwear

5)       Any other sort of clothing

6)       Hair Pins, Scrunchies, etc.

7)       Condom wrappers/lube (including condom wrappers that you left in your trash- also it’s important to note that many women count the condoms in the box in your dresser drawer and then count again when they return.  I have a friend who keeps his condoms in a digital safe after having a bad experience…

8)       Any other accessories.

Category 2: “Planted Poision”

So, you walked her to the door, and as she left, you said “oh, don’t forget these!” and handed her the three rings, necklace, belt, sock, g-string, and pet ferret that she ‘accidentally’ left behind.

Now that she’s gone, your job isn’t done.  It’s time to look for anything she may have planted that is NOT so obvious.  These are some of the things that really get guys nailed, so pay attention… it could save your ass…

These things include:

1)       Scent of a woman… did she perfume your clothes/sheets/ pillows/sofa/cat?  If so, wash what you can wash, Lysol what you can, and put a lot of  YOUR deodorant on anything that still has HER lingering scent.

2)       Shedding Reminders…  Look for her hair, especially if one of your girls is blonde, the other brunette, etc.  Common places will be on your bed, pillows, bathroom counter top, your brush/comb, sink, toilet, and the clothes you were wearing.  I always look for this… you should too.

3)       Easter Eggs…  She may actually hide things for other women to find.

I’ve been fortunate enough not come across this in my own experience (or I blocked it out), but buddies have reported from experience that she may do things like hide tampons under the sink, put the empty condom wrappers in your dresser or bathroom drawers, and hide little ‘it was great seeing you tonight’ notes for “you” to find later, and other such things.  If you suspect her of anything from being a little ‘extra’ jealous to full-blown crazy, take a pass through any of these less obvious types of hiding places.  A guy I know once hooked up with a famous female musician while temporarily broken up with his girlfriend… The rock star stuffed her panties into his pillow case, which weren’t discovered until he got back together with his girlfriend, who decided to do his laundry!

Category 3:  Marked Man…
You may have found all sorts of clues, but don’t forget one thing buddy…  YOU are the biggest clue of all.  Here are some things that she may do to “mark” you as ‘off limits’ to other women that you meet or are already dating.

1)       Hickies…  In my estimation, hickies are always a no-no unless you’re living in a trailer in Ohio, wear overalls and a straw hat, and think Velcro is the devil’s work. Look, it’s in the name, guys… ONLY Hickies should give Hickies.  (I think we need a bumpersticker to that effect).  Don’t do it to her and never let her do it to you.

2)       Biting, scratching (punching, kicking, choking and bruising too, for you freaky freaks).  The less-hick sibling of the hickie, anything that marks your body is going to be a dead giveaway… I know it may be a big turn-on to have her biting your neck and digging her claws into your back as you do the horizontal mambo… But unless you heal like Wolverine from the X-men, you could need days or weeks to heal, or you’re going to have to curb that tendency…

3)       Smells Like Stupid…  If you didn’t figure this out already, any perfume she’s wearing will now be YOUR perfume.  And any bodily fluid she shares with you will also have her ‘special perfume’.  Not only is it a dead giveaway to have the scent of another woman on you, but it’s pretty gross to not shower between seeing women.  Change your clothes, shower, wipe off any lipstick, glitter (another marking device) and brush your damn teeth!  Didn’t your mother teach you anything?

4)       TatWho?  For you jacktards who can’t tie your own shoes, if you let her talk you into tattooing her name on you, you deserve to be treated like the piece of mindless branded meat that you are.  Two words for you: laser removal.  Two more words: Vasectomy Procedure. (Seriously, please don’t replicate… We’ve got enough kids in special ed as it is).

Most importantly, be cool.  Don’t use this info to cheat on your girl.  There’s a difference between dating several people who know you’re dating around, and being a loser who doesn’t have the balls to be honest with women he’s seeing.  You wouldn’t want it to happen to you.

Also, realize that she’s only leaving these clues around because she likes you and quite possibly she wants to be your only girl.  She’s fighting for you in the subtle way that women do, and if you stop and think about it, that’s pretty cool.  If you find these clues, take it as a compliment.  It’s not a bad thing.

Hell, she might be so cool, next time you’re at HER place you might want to consider leaving a pair of tighty-whities and a few extra-small condoms in the cabinet under her bathroom sink… And piss on the bumper of her car.  After all, men can mark their territory too!